I have been doing alot of thinking today about my life before my weight loss. I have been thinking of the girl that once was and isn't anymore. I was this overweight, depressed, self conscious person. I acted quite the opposite though for others. I had some close friends but after high school, I lost alot of them due to life's circumstances. I gained more of them in the process, but have already lost some of those because of the changes I have gone through with weight loss, getting married, having children, etc. I miss alot of my old friends that I used to see all the time, but don't anymore due to life and being busy. I sometimes wonder why I put myself this journey of my past, but I think I need the reminder of where I came from to validate my here and now. I really didn't enjoy life back then. I was constantly looking for validation from others that I fit in. I was extremely unhappy with myself. I didn't have a great family life growing up either. I still don't have a great relationship with my mother and father. I think that's where alot of my insecurities started. My father didn't love me because I was fat and (in his eyes) was not pretty. My mother would put me down mentally all the time. She still does. I am now not speaking with my mother. My relationship with my father has improved, but I have to wonder if it is because I lost weight and therefore now validated as pretty and acceptable to my father.... It could also be that we have more in common because he is into health and fitness as well. These things combined with me being overweight just made me the person I described earlier. I never had a problem getting friends or dates, but I always felt inferior to my friends. Most of them were skinny and pretty/good looking. I met my husband when I was that person. We dated for years on and off, because I didn't think I was good enough for him. He loved me as that person and now as the person I am now. That just shows what a great person he is though. :) I still wonder how I got so lucky sometimes! I look back and see some great things that I accomplished for myself as well as the things I did wrong. I try to focus on the positive and definitely not live in the past. The past is what made us who we are but it does not define us as who we are. Other people do not define you as a person either. It is how you treat yourself and others that defines you. I made a huge change 4 years ago by losing weight and changing the way I treat myself. I promised to treat myself with respect and not allow others to disrespect me either. That's led to alot of changes. I have alot less friends now, but I know the ones I do have are real ones. Although I wish I could have kept alot of them due to the length of time we knew each other, I knew that it wasn't based on a true friendship. I sometimes feel alienated by my past, because of all the changes I made. I often question myself on what if I didn't lose weight and change myself? Where would I be?? Sometimes I don't even want to know. I am sure you are wondering what my point for this blog is and I really hadn't had a true point in mind. I just kind of wanted to get some things out. I don't really have someone to talk about these things with alot of the time so I will just write about them! I lost my best friend in the shuffle as well. She is in another state and I never even get to talk to her anymore. I just now got her back on Facebook because she either deleted her Facebook or me at some point then came back again. Not sure but I don't even have her phone number anymore. It's hard to find a person that you can confide it 100% of the time. I know my husband will listen, but he usually knows everything I am going to say anyway. It's just nice to have a great friend outside of your marriage as well. I know I have a couple friends I can confide in, but it's also hard for me to just open myself up face to face! I am an enigma sometimes LoL I don't know why I am that way about spilling my guts to people. So my advice here is to just look to your past for lessons on why you are trying to accomplish your current goals, but do not live in the past. Let the future define you and where you are going.
I also got a new tattoo this week that I am very happy about!
The quote is a Marilyn Monroe quote. I feel that it suits me. I was looking for something that was about my weight loss journey and this doesn't scream weight loss but it fits with my life up to this point.
As always with the new month, there are new Beachbody Specials! Here are this months specials:
PIYO® CHALLENGE PACK: The highly anticipated new program from Celebrity Trainer Chalene Johnson is here! Get amazing results with this low impact, high intensity program that utilizes the most effective Pilates and yoga-inspired moves. Through the end of July, this challenge pack is reduced to $140 (normally $160). Comes with FREE SHIPPING with Shakeology for FREE!
3-DAY REFRESH™ CHALLENGE PACK: Introducing a simple and convenient 3 day program that offers a break from poor eating and gets you started on a better diet. Get ready to lose weight and feel healthier in 3 short days. This month it’s reduced to $140 (normally $160).
SPANISH 21 DAY FIX® CHALLENGE PACK: One of our best selling programs is now available in Spanish! The 21 Day Fix in Spanish Challenge Pack Promotion is normally $160, but this month only its just $140. (SPANISH VERSION ONLY)
I am also giving a $40 dollar gift card with any of these Challenge Pack purchases. That brings them all down to just $100 spent. You will not find any of these programs cheaper anywhere else! Everything is backed by a 30 day money back guarantee as well so if you do not like it then you can get your money back!!
Message me for details!!
Chandra Sullivan: Spark Your Motivation
Tere Scott: Teachable Scotts Tots Home School
Danielle Nabozny: Lipgloss and Yoga Pants
Lisa Belanger: Inspire Me Well
Maryann Mitchell: It's Not Food, It's Me